Sunday, August 22, 2010

maybe it's not so bad



This is the third Florida post I've done, but I took this photo with the intention of putting it on here. It will be the last one.  This was on a Friday night before a storm at a beach known for it's seashelling.  I don't know about you, but I can sometimes have a pesimistic view of the world, thinking (though I don't think actually believing) that humanity as a whole isn't that great.  I was surprised to see all these people out on a Friday night..........seashelling.  And it warmed my heart.

Friday, August 13, 2010

art on the street




I love street art, but at the same time, I love work that draws attention to us as women maintaining our innocence. I love to paint things that are beautiful and still a little controversial in the way they are made. Street art is still not seen as a fine art form. However, something I love about it is, it's available to the masses. It is not created to be seen by the selected few who walk into a gallery. It is made to be understood and I, therefore see it as an important medium of conversation and of social justice.

and the sun set.

Banago Beach Resort in Sulangan, Guiuan, Eastern Samar, Philippines.

Friday, August 6, 2010

something constant

we all want something that will last. that's why "a diamond is forever" and Ford is "like a rock" and a Nalgene has a lifetime guarantee

most of us spend a lot of time trying to find or create something permanent. something that just won't change, won't leave. maybe a relationship, or a job, or a look, or a feeling, or a lifestyle, or even an ever-possible "way out". if all the world crumbles, at the end of the day we want to say, "at least i've still got _______". 

because something inside of us instinctively yearns for a constant, a plumb line.

but a diamond is only forever if you always wear the ring. and ford is like a rock until you crash into a tree. and it's a good thing there was a guarantee because that nalgene is in a dozen pieces on the asphalt.


sometimes all the things we hoped would never change...change. like on the way from point A to point B, point B disappears altogether, and the path you followed blends in with everything around it. and you're left with just you. standing there. uncertain of where to go now, and how to get there.

i need something i can count on more than a diamond and more than a ford and more than a nalgene. i need something under my feet that i know will always hold me, and a covenant that does more than slip on to my finger. 
i need something more solid than the earth itself. 
i need something etched in my skin and burned on my heart. 
i need something that won't leave me even if i run from it.

and i found it.


Belonging

Here is a little about me.
I am a adopted
I got a family.
I lost a family
I got another family
That family broke down
I was making another family
And it washed out to sea.
I was adopted again
That family remains
Miles away.
I’m apart of a community
Im leaving that community
Im still apart of that community
But I am in turn am going to belong to another place.
There are people everywhere.
To what degree do I belong…
It shakes the soul its shakes the heart.
But of all this I know is that we are meant to belong.
Feelings sometimes make us feel unworthy to be apart of something
Sometimes feelings make us shun the arms that reach out
Sometimes we cant bring ourselves to give our hearts away.
But the truth is… we are meant to belong.
We are worthy.
The people who reach out truly want us to be apart of them
And our hearts are too heavy to hold and giving apart away would make the load a lot lighter.

I sat in a setting tonight with people some to whom I believe I belong and to some I do not. It was a a warm place. And  I watched the legs walk by the window outside and hoped they too knew to whom they belonged.
It made me thankful. It put my heart in my throat, drew a tear from my eye. I sat by myself on the couch and felt that I would never be alone again.
I know to whom I belong, I know the places where I can go to call home. 

Brother and Pop. (Grandpa) 2 to whom I belong